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Updated: Mar 18


My journey in 2020 was one of a conscious awakening to the power of fear; it began, in fact, during the eclipse of December 25, 2019. We were travelling and spent the night at a friend's beautiful guest house in Philippolis, a small town on the border of the Free State and the Karoo.

That night I woke up in full paralysis, my entire body was paralysed, the only thing I could move was my eyes and eyelids. This was not the first time I'd had this experience, but nonetheless, it was terrifying, and then it got worse. My son was asleep to my right and my husband on my left, I could see dark figures like shadows with claws begin to move over them, grabbing at them and pulling what looked like life force out of them. I couldn't move or scream, completely paralysed, now even more so by fear. The more the fear rose in me, the more the creatures came. They were upon us, all three of us. Like a feeding frenzy my fear was driving them, feeding them, that is what they were after. They feed on fear. Bam! That realisation hit me! THEY FEED ON FEAR! All I had to do to make it stop, to relinquish my permission to them to feed, was to stop being in fear. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I stopped, I stopped being afraid, I acknowledged how fucking terrifying this entire situation was, but I stopped feeling fear. I began to call back my power and the knowledge that I am a Daughter of Isis, held in the arms of the Goddess, albeit at this moment an entirely paralysed one. And as I allowed that awareness to wash over me, as the clutches of fear drained from my field, the shadow creatures began to slink away, they couldn't touch us anymore, also they didn't want to, because, they feed on fear. No Fear, no food.

At this same moment, I was whipped out of my physical body so fast I could barely comprehend what was happening, I was moving through dimensions at the speed of light, my physical body left behind as my light body experienced in a flash the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th and then floating in what is, only and completely the realm of singularity, no separation. Here, in this dimension, without duality. A full light code awakening and activation occurred. I cannot put words to this space, to this dimension. It is beyond all description; it is all description; there are not enough words in all the languages of all the ages to adequately describe this realm - so I don't. I simply take the lessons and the integration of the codes as they come. I may have been here nanoseconds or lifetimes; time as we know it ceases to exist very quickly as soon as you begin to move out of the 3rd dimension. Then I was taken back, down into my body with one simple truth - BE VERY AWARE OF FEAR! It is the only thing that can take your power! Your sovereignty awakens when you step out of fear. And now, here we are in 2021. I have done better with fear over the year that passed, and of course, little did I know when I had that experience just how deeply the fear-feeding frenzy would be activated in 2020. I am very grateful that I was given that gift and lesson so that when the fear frenzy began, I could navigate it from a deeper place of power and see it for what it was. The lesson, as I see it, expands on the previous one; it is the further opening of the codes I received, now ready to integrate and language. Fear takes us out of the Sacred and into the wounded, out of unity and into separation, out of love and into lack, which all leads us back to fear. This last week I have been plagued by the most insane allergy attacks, my whole body inflamed, turned against itself. The histamine response is off the charts, and the discomfort of your body attacking itself is difficult to explain. It's overwhelming in a way that renders you incapacitated - paralysed. In the midst of the hell within my own body, the lesson came. "Drop into the Feminine! All this suffering will stop as soon as you surrender and step out of resistance."

How? I begged. "Every part of me hurts, my skin burns, my eyes are so inflamed and itchy I can barely open them. Every joint is swollen and sore. I want out! how the fuck am I supposed to surrender to this hell?" "Soften!" came the answer. So I did. I became as still as I could in the discomfort and softened to it. I went on a journey into my own being and was shown how my resistance distorts my Feminine field. It takes my power and shifts me into a state of fear, perpetuating that which I do not wish to manifest. The allergies my body experiences are not a response to my external environment but to my internal environment—in fact, all of life is.

The role and power of the Feminine (I mean the Sacred Feminine that is present and available to all beings but deeply necessary for the fullness of life and expression in women) has been curtailed, subdued and enslaved for millennia. We have largely forgotten what this power looks and feels like because the concept of power has been viewed and expressed through the wounded masculine (I refer not to men but to the prevailing energetic state that rules our times) for many millennia. We believe and have been entrained that power is forceful, power pushes, it resists, it holds firm. Power goes to war on anything that stands in its way and comes out victorious, the enemy subdued, enslaved or slain. This, however, is not power; to overcome someone or something is not power; it is tyranny and is born out of fear and resistance and results only in more of the same. The power of the Feminine, of the Beauty Way, is in the ability of the Feminine to be the Cup, the Chalice, The Holy Grail, to take in, to soften to all that is launched at it because the Feminine transmutes all into beauty and love when it is awakened and conscious.

The power of the womb, the power of creation, lies within the feminine, that soft dark cave within that transmutes and transforms whatever is given into new life. The source of all creation. The power held in this softening is immense because it understands that nothing can be launched at it that cannot be absorbed, transmuted and returned to the world as love. When we are in this power no-one and no-thing can do us harm because through this transformative gentleness, we can take it into our field and rebirth all into beauty. It is the power of Feminine Alchemy, but it can only be achieved through receptiveness and softening. When the feminine is in a state of resistance, she becomes impenetrable, and when the feminine cannot be penetrated, she loses her powers of transmutation. We must take into our field, into our bodies, that which we wish to transform and when we do, we can soften hatred and fear into Love.

We must come back to the knowledge and power of soft watering our way through the mountain. Resistance makes us brittle and brittle things are easy to break, we are facing times where if we are resistant we will be broken, because it renders us unable to adapt with gentleness to our environment. Resistance keeps our focus and attention on what we fear, which then, of course, will manifest exactly what we fear. Our perception is our projection. So come into the power of softness, the adaptability and the alchemy of the Feminine, step gently, bare-footed, heart open onto the path of the Beauty Way and seek your power from this source. It is there and it is immense, the ever unfolding lotus, all you need to do is Soften. The knowledge of the Beauty Way is innate to each of us, we simply need a little help to remember this. If you would like to release some of your own blocks and entrained resistance and step back into the arms of the Goddess and the Beauty Way, book a session, and we can begin to work on opening your field to remembering the power of softening and Feminine Alchemy.

In Alchemy

Isa Ka Ra

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